Gain or Lose – It’s Your Decision
May 26th, 2010 | 
Author: Has the very thought of a decision that could affect the rest your life make you a complete nervous wreck? Even the most trivial/minor decisions send you into a state of anxiety when you start thinking of the possible things that could go wrong.
It’s a normal occurrence that people will decide on various choices which they think will benefit them whether they are related to a career, money, business or even relationships. So how do we recognise which choice is the best with regards to a particular situation. The obvious is sometimes the best choice, but other choices may seem to hold a slight less distinct possibility, coupled together with a threat of regret.
On a more positive note, making wise decisions is to consider all the advantages and disadvantages of every available outcome. Listed below I have put together a very simple 3-step process to help you to make informative decisions irrespective what part of your life they may affect.
1) What will I Gain?
When there is more than one option to choose from, the first big question is, “What will I gain from choosing this option?” Should the rewards be extremely favourable for you, then you may be willing to accept a small risk to benefit from the opportunity presented to you. However if the benefit is neglible you might feel that the risk is not worth taking at the present time.
2) What will I Lose?
The other big question to ask is, “What if the option doesn’t work out?” The very thought of a negative belief when a potential opportunity arises creates a lot of heartache, however you could save yourself a lot worry with a bit of foresight ! Should the losses be huge with a particular option, a decision to back off for a while may improve the situation.
3) What’s the Worst Thing that Could Happen?
The final part of this 3-step process is to consider the next step and ask yourself, “What’s the Worst Thing that Could Happen” if I choose a particular option, and would be willing to accept the consequences?” I know this sounds like a very forthright question, but is very effective in attempting to clarify the situation! If you have a problem in making a decision about the right choice immediately, I would suggest that any choice is not right for you at this time. On the other hand, if the consequences aren’t that bad, you know it’s a viable option for you.
What do you do if all of your options hold the same potential rewards and consequences? Go with your instinct! Take a few minutes to think carefully about each possibility, and then choose the one you feel strongest about.
When it comes right down to it, there are no guarantees in decision-making. You simply weigh the pros and cons, listen to your inner self, and do the best you can. In the end, there really isn’t any such thing as a “bad” decision, because you do learn something from each one you make. If you keep that in mind you should grow more confident with each choice you make, which will help you make even better decisions in the future.
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Design Your Day
How often do you let circumstances set the pattern for each day? Do other people and events in your day set off feelings and emotions that comprise of anger, frustration, impatience and many others?
When you allow this to happen, you are forgetting the one power that is available to all of us! The Law of Attraction. When using this law, every day can be a fantastic day. Start to create and design your day by using intentions and visualization.
From the first moment you wake up in the morning, spend at least 10 minutes thinking about all the things you would like to experience that day. Such as what type of workday would you like? What type of people would you like to meet?
How about receiving a opportunity to further your career or perhaps enhance your financial situation!
Find a notebook and pen and write down all the experiences you wish to happen that day, then spend a few minutes to imagine each and every experience in your mind, just as you would like them to happen. Think of it as watching a film or a play in your mind, see the story line unfold before your eyes.
The most important aspect of this visualization is to allow yourself to feel that it is actually happening now. Feel the excitement, the joy, the happiness and gratitude as you enjoy the experiences one after the other.
Once you have finished, you should be feeling fantastic; full of excitement and high expectations for the coming day.
Now continue with your normal routines for the day, but taking extra care not to allow yourself to be “connected” to any particular event or experience, just have an open mind to whatever shows up. Remember, keep affirming to yourself all the great things that are going to happen to you that day and you feel great about all the things in your life.
Now you have all this positive energy don’t allow the feelings of anxiety, worry, frustration and anger interfere with your day. Keep those positive images that you visualized earlier to flow through the day. Keep affirming and believe that great things are happening, even if you don’t see them just yet.
Use this process on a daily basis and not by coincidence you’ll begin to see good things start to happen. All of a sudden opportunities’ appear and you will find yourself in the “right place at the right time”.
Choose Happiness Now
Do circumstances need to change before you allow happiness into your life? The majority of us have many preconceived ideas which we think will make us happier, however we steadfastly refuse to be convinced or satisfied until such things happen.
A common stumbling block however is the fact that even if certain things happen to us, we’re rarely satisfied with the outcome! Our focus then shifts to even bigger and better things which we believe will makes more happy or happier. We don’t allow ourselves to reach a degree of contentment. I have no doubt many of you have done the same thing!
Only you can decide to Choose Happiness Now even if your life is far from perfect. I have listed below 3 easy ways to adopt this way of thinking:
1) Show Gratitude
To show gratitude, allows you to use one of the most powerful states of mind. It allows a feel good factor, which shifts your focus from what you don’t have to what you DO have. Once you focus on the things you are grateful for in your life (even the most trivial things!), you concern yourself less about anything that may be missing or lacking. The end result brings about a more pleasing sense of happiness.
2) Take time to chill out.
If most of your days are spent rushing here, there and everywhere, the likelihood is you will find it hard to feel happy and content. To find true happiness, there is a need to allow yourself the time to relax and enjoy the pleasures of life’s simpler moments. Why not start today, spend some time on a regular basis doing the things you love to do. Perhaps read books; listen to your favourite music; if you’re the outdoor type, take long walks or ride a bicycle, just make an effort to enjoy your life right now.
3) Enjoy the journey.
The majority of people today often make the mistake of allowing some vague expectation, such as the completion pre-determined goals and believe once these are accomplished and they have ‘arrived’ everything is going to be perfect and they will find happiness. Don’t get me wrong, setting goals is essential, however there is also plenty to be gained by enjoying the journey that leads to reaching your goals. Decide right now to enjoy this journey, make it special and you’ll savour the end result even more.
Happiness like many other things in life is your CHOICE, once you have understood this, you will have taken a big step to a happier state of mind. I know certain situations sometimes dictate our feelings and make it difficult to feel happy, most often or not it’s the silly little things that block our happiness which we would otherwise feel. Make HAPPINESS you’re No 1 priority and watch it grow in your life!
Develop Your Mind-set to Create Success
A statement we often hear is that “success is a state of mind.” Although many people will tell you that success is achieved through preparation, planning and of course taking action, this is a viewpoint that certainly holds up – but like many other things there are also a number of exceptions to the “rule.”
How many times have you seen two people attempting the same objective in the same way, yet only one succeeds! Is it luck? Effort? Timing? Chances are it’s a person’s mind-set that decides whether they succeed or fail.
So what is mind-set? To generalise mind-set is your predominant state of mind on a daily basis. Our daily state of mind is determined by our thoughts, what we focus on and what we expect from that day. If the thoughts that enter our mind are negative, we tend to expect the worst, feel less confident about ourselves and attract all likewise conditions into our life. However, if the thoughts that enter our mind are all positive, the opposite happens, we expect the best, we become self assured and confident that everything we do and touch will have a successful outcome.
Does the above begin to make sense? So how does it work? Why is the need to develop a success mind-set so important? I have listed below three main reasons:
1) Confidence and self-belief are boosted by a successful Mind-set
If you lack belief in yourself, you will also feel a sense of futility and powerlessness, which obviously is the opposite to a success mind-set. Indeed coupled with a lack of confidence means you see no point trying to be a success because it won’t happen anyway. This type of mind-set is a recipe for disaster, because you will fail at everything you attempt to do or achieve.
To develop your mind-set to create success, you must believe in yourself and believe you are capable of accomplishing anything you want to. Be always willing to give everything and anything your very best efforts, because the more you try, confidence and self-belief will flow through you and your future will be unlimited.
2) Determination is fuelled by a Success Mind-set
Determination is part of a success mind-set, without it, one failure will convince you that chasing your dreams or goals are a complete waste of time. Determination and a will to succeed just don’t exist in your world. If success doesn’t come to you in an instant, you probably think it was not meant to be. However, very few things in this world worth having are achieved so easily!
With a determined success mind-set the opposite effect is very evident, because failure is not a reason to give up – it just means that particular way of doing something was not the correct way. With that type of mind-set the only true failure is when you give up trying.
3) Effective Actions come from a Success Mind-set
Do you remember when you wanted to achieve something very important, but found yourself going round in circles trying to find the best way to approach this specific goal. Ideas kept coming in to your mind about the best course of action but you felt uneasy about some of the steps required. As a result, you were probably discounting these ideas because they seemed a bit frightening as you searched for a easier way.
When developing a success mind-set, the effective action steps required to reach your goal will come to you without any fear. Your confidence and determination will see to that and allow you to pursue a sure fire way to : success
There a numerous words and phrases that can sum up the way to Develop your mind-set to Create Success and they are as follows:
- Reach for the Sky and Go for your dreams.
- Always think in a positive manner.
- Believe in yourself.
- Believe you can improve.
- Be willing to learn, grow and develop yourself.
- Be prepared to take chances.
- Always give it your best shot/effort.
- Always expect the best in every situation.
- Don’t allow failure to stop you achieving your goal.
- When you fall down, dust yourself down, get back up and try again.
Our limitations and successes are based on our own expectations, whether you think you can or you can’t – either way you are right!
How to bring Calmness to your Everyday Life
In this modern world our everyday lives are full of hustle and bustle, so the desire for a more quiet and simple life becomes a more sought after goal. If your life seems like an endless race with no finishing line in sight, take on board a few of the ideas listed below to bring a sense of calmness to your everyday life.
1) Consider this, Less is more. You’ll be amazed how much “stuff” we hoard and accumulate in our homes on the basis that we believe it will contribute to our lives. I know we obtain a lot of enjoyment from material possessions, however the more we accumulate the more burdened we sometimes feel. This leads to constant confusion, along with stress and and wayward thoughts.
Firstly begin to clear out those material possessions that you no longer need or want, and donate to a local charity organization. The outcome of this type of action is two-fold: firstly you will feel less cramped in your home and secondly you will feel good about donating those items to people who will actually use them.
2) Scale down your daily/weekly activities. We all know an active life is good for us, however feeling stressed and fatigued is not! We have a tendency to take on more than we should do with regards to obligations and even recreational activities are concerned.
Start to think about all the things you do on a daily, weekly and even monthly basis. Do you think you really need involve yourself in all of them? Are you participating in activities that no longer excite or interest you any more?
Take your time and write down a list of the activities/obligations that perhaps you no longer need to be involved with, then take action and reduce your time spent on them – this can be done on a gradual basis.
3) Silence is Golden. A relatively simple way of reducing your stress levels and giving you a sense of calmness is to spend time in silence – even if it’s just for a few minutes. The type of action helps to shut out the mental and physical “noise: of our busy lives.
If you live near a park or the countryside, you can accelerate this action by spending time in nature. Whilst this is not completely silent, the sound of running water and birds singing has a soothing effect – which gives a sense of peace and tranquility.
To bring calmness into all of our lives, everybody needs to slow down and enjoy life more. Whether that is achieved by moving to quieter surroundings, reducing our busy schedules or just having a moments respite on a daily basis, the results will be the same – a happier and more peaceful you!
The Conquest of Fear
We have all at sometime had a feeling of being overwhelmed by fear – to the point where it has prohibited us from doing something we really wanted to do. Unfortunately this is a normal occurrence faced by many people on a daily basis.
The power that fear holds over us prevents us taking risks or even destroys the dreams of being successful or any attempt to improve ourselves. Once you allow this to take control of your life over a period of time, your quality of life will suffer and you will find yourself locked in a kind of limbo, being completely inactive.
FEAR is no more than a response condition of which many people fail to understand. It’s only a natural reaction to a situation which is either unfamiliar or frightening. However, although this is a automatic response, there are a number of things that can be done to counteract it.
1) Monitor your expectations.
Negative expectations are a major contributor. A mindset about always expecting the worst. Worrying about what could go wrong, rather than a more positive outcome.
Once you make a more concerted effort to expect the best and see a more positive outlook to situations, you’ll find yourself with more belief in your mind and any thoughts of fear will slowly but surely ebb away.
2) Show your fear the Door!
As a general rule many of things we supposedly fear never become reality. Although this is fairly true statement, it certainly doesn’t feel that way when fear has a vice like grip on you! But don’t be discouraged when fear show it’s ugly head, look a little closer and you will most certainly will be able to least dismiss a few of those fears.
For instance, perhaps you have a fear of public speaking and your worst nightmare is suddenly realised, when your boss wants you to make a presentation to a group of prospective clients, the very thought of it makes you feel sick and that your whole world is collapsing around you. Job, Security, Livelihood, even the notion of getting the sack! The pressure to do a good job feels like a massive burden.
However is any of the above likely to happen? I doubt it. Rather than concentrating on the things that “might” happen if you don’t perform to your ability. Concentrate on ways that will make it work, such as preparing and practising your delivery to anybody that will listen; family & friends, make notes to yourself.
3) Face fear and move on
Since fear is only a feeling and once you remember that, all of sudden it loses much of it’s hold on you. It can’t hurt you and really only in certain threatening situations will it have any bearing on your outlook, however you have the choice to ignore it and move on.
How To Create a Positive Expectation Everytime
With constant negative thoughts running through your head, do you always expect the worst possible outcome to every situation you find yourself in?
Unfortunately that sort of mind-set doesn’t change easily, even though you might decide you’ve had enough. These negative thoughts will increase time and time again despite the fact that you are trying to think positive.
However all is not lost, patience and persistence are the watch words when turning a negative thought into a positive one. Slowly but surely the positive thoughts will begin to take hold.
Listed below you will find three simple examples of HOW TO CREATE A POSITIVE EXPECTATION EVERYTIME
1) Recognise those negative expectations through the development of self-awareness. Negative thoughts have a bad habit of developing below your conscious level of awareness, therefore you become used to them being in your head. To change this onslaught of negativity the need for a stronger level of self-awareness is paramount. An excellent way to start with self-awareness is a ritual of self-checks numerous times a day. Firstly check how you feel. Do you feel positive? If you do, then you are more than likely having or thinking positive thoughts.
However, if the opposite is occurring and you are feeling stressed, irritable or angry, then the negative thoughts are being allowed to be the focus of attention. To counteract this:
2) Confront and change those negative thoughts,with a little bit of self believe, will-power, call it what you like! and a touch of concentration.
Let’s take an example:
You’ve been given a task at work to finish by a certain deadline, however you are doubting your ability to meet this imposed deadline, so you will probably engage yourself in little bit of self-talk, something like this: “I’am worried that I won’t meet the deadline, but really everything is okay. I have completed more than I anticipated and I’am more than capable of finishing on time.” Really the circumstances haven’t changed, it’s just your self-talk encouraging you to be more positive.
3) While you are developing a habit of changing your thought processes from negative to positive, consider a more general habit with regards to positive expectation on a daily basis. When you wake up in the morning, say to yourself, “Today is going to be an outstanding day! I will achieve everything that I have planned to do today.”
Should problems or obstacles stand in your way, just accept them as another opportunity to learn and develop. By just changing the ways you perceive the way you look at things in your life, conquering those negative thought habits becomes very easy. Before you know it, you’ll be enjoying life, the opportunities that you thought not possible suddenly appear.
“THOUGHTS BECOME THINGS”
The Art of Loving Yourself
If you have limiting and self abusive messages playing in your subconscious mind, then loving yourself becomes a difficult task. The majority of these messages enter our subconscious minds during childhood, however their effects go far beyond our early years!
It may or may not become a bit of a surprise that we are still influenced by the things our parents and others said to us decades ago!
When you were told you were no good, you believed them. When you were told you would never get anywhere in life, you believed them. When you were told you were stupid, dim or weird, you believed them. And guess what, you probably still believe them to this day – even though you are not aware of these underlying beliefs.
It is possible to eradicate these old messages and replace them with all New, positive messages. Listed below are three excellent ways to start :
1) Remember your last love affair. In the beginning you and your partner spent a lot of time together. Giving each other plenty of attention and affection, right? You both probably felt very passionate about each other.
The ‘Art of Loving Yourself’ is a very similar process – with yourself! Treat yourself like a king! Do the things that make you feel good and happy. Hug yourself. Talk sweet-nothings to yourself. Treat yourself to nice things. Allow yourself a good time with yourself because you deserve it.
2) Look at your current beliefs. There maybe some old, limiting messages floating around in your head, which you might be unsure what there are about exactly.
To understand what beliefs are holding you back, you may need to go on voyage of discovery.
Start by writing your existing beliefs in a journal. Write down your earliest memories such as : The earliest recollection of feeling stupid was “…….”. My mother always made me feel….” My father always treated me like….” and so on. The idea of these recollections is to make you think where your original limiting beliefs came from. Once you have done that , then you challenge those beliefs. Are they true today? Were they ever true?. Only you can decide whether you want them to be true. When you have decided that they were probably not true, start replacing those old beliefs with new improved beliefs.
3) Focus on your good qualities! When your self-esteem is low you tend to focus on the things that are “wrong with you” and completely dismiss all the good things. An easy way to focus on your good things is to praise and encourage yourself through your self-talk. Congratulate yourself! Tell yourself “A job well done”, “I’am proud of myself for completing that task”. Make a point of giving yourself positive self-talk everyday. “I know I can do it”. “The whole world of opportunity is open to me” The more you do it, the more you’ll come to believe it
There’s No Such Thing as Failure
How many times have you not followed something through because you were afraid you might fail ? I bet numerous times.
However you are not alone, because most people have; no one likes the idea of failing. The very notion of failure makes us feel ineffective, weak or lacking in some way.
Believe it or not failure doesn’t actually exist! – unless you say it does.
Check your dictionary, because failure has a number of different definitions:
1. A failure to do or perform
2. A State of inability to perform a normal function adequately
3. A fracturing or giving way under stress
4. A lack of success
Take a closer look at the above definitions and you’ll probably see one common theme when it comes to goal achievement: failure is only a PERCEPTION in your minds.
If you think or believe you have failed, then guess what, You have! If you think or believe you don’t have what it takes to succeed, yet again you won’t! Understand that failure only exists in your own mind, nobody else’s! The second you decide to give up means failure is created.
Change your mindset 180 degrees, believe in yourself, never let the thought of failure enter your mind. Take one step at a time towards your goals and watch the results come your way. In other words simply keep going forward in a positive manner and you cannot fail!
Keep focused and strong towards your goal with these three tips :
1) Don’t allow yourself an excuse as justification for not doing or completing something. The majority of people do this without realising. If you are going to commit your self to achieving a goal, see it through to the end, don’t quit because the going gets tough no matter what, never ever contemplate failure or lose that determination.
2) Avoid giving yourself a timeframe for completion of your goals. Decide on your goals and work towards them. Some goals take longer to achieve than others. Setting a timescale will put you under pressure to complete by a deadline that you set. If you do that you’re setting yourself up for failure! Work towards your goal on a daily basis and focus on the progress you make. You will find reaching the finish line is easier than you thought.
3) As you work towards your goal you may come across obstacles and setbacks, don’t view these as failures. The two are very different. An obstacle, setback means only one thing: you haven’t completed your goal yet. That’s it no more! no less! It certainly doesn’t mean you have failed; far from it! Just keep moving forward on the right track to achieve your goal.
REMEMBER THERE’S NO SUCH THING AS FAILURE
How to Create a POSITIVE ATTITUDE
Attitude is everything when it comes to the quality of life! In fact it is said “We become what we think about” whether by choice or circumstance. We probably all know of someone who has or had a terrible attitude. I bet you found it draining in their presence with their negativity and non-stop complaining about the state of their life.
Your own negative attitude will obviously make you miserable, but also everyone you come into contact with too!
However a POSITIVE ATTITUDE turns you into a magnet, the person everyone wants to be with; somebody that experiences all the great things that life has to offer. Does that sound like the person you want to be? I bet it does, then read on for some simple ways to develop a POSITIVE ATTITUDE.
1) Enjoy what you do, whether it be work, hobbies or any other activities. Always concentrate on something that gives you fulfillment and a purpose. If they don’t, consider other paths to explore. When you start to do the things that make you happy, guess what!You will feel much better about yourself and life in general and that in turn will create a POSITIVE ATTITUDE.
2) Always expect the best. The habit of always seeing doom and gloom everytime means you
are forever focusing on the negative. Change your mind set and make a conscious decision to always expect the best, even if your first thoughts are negative. Affirm as often as you can, “I CAN DO IT”, “THIS IS GOING TO WORK”. Remember “THOUGHTS CREATE THINGS”
3) Feel good about yourself. Everyday think and speak positive about yourself. Get out of the habit of talking yourself down. Now consider this, would you speak to your best friend like you speak to yourself? I guarantee you wouldn’t; So why do it! Make a decision to get into the habit of making yourself feel good with POSITIVE Self Talk and thoughts. Concentrate on your good qualities and put aside any negative thoughts.
4) Don’t forget all the other people you meet in your life. Make a concerted effort to encourage, support and compliment them, even if they are total strangers. The more you concentrate on positive thoughts and actions, the better you feel about yourself and the more likeable you become in the eyes of others.
5) Think strong. Concentrate on your strengths not your weaknesses. Don’t let the worry of ‘failure’ surface, this will bring only negativity. Instead focus on your POSITIVE attitude,which in turn will create a sense of empowerment and control.